19 Kids
by The Squint Squad 2.0
Summary: [Sokka has an epiphany of a ramble one night at camp about his nineteen kids. And some people are less than impressed] Based on Dane Cook's 19 KIDS. Pairings are Tokka, Maiko, Kataang, and Saruki. More inside!


**This is going to be fun. This is a oneshot based off of Dane Cook's joke "19 Kids". BFF, Mandi and thought it would be fun to do for a kind of Sokka-centric oneshot. We worked on it together over IM in RP form and it was up to me to make it work into a oneshot! I hope she's satisfied with it!**

**The pairings included are Tokka, Maiko, Kataang, and Saruki (Suki x Haru; a crackship of ours). It's in Avatar times and they are at camp some random place and we figured that we should have Suki, Haru, Zuko, and Mai join them just for the heck and fun of the oneshot.**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Avatar, or it's characters. We also do not own the awesomness that is Dane Cook and his jokes. We also do not own Trogdor, the Burninator, StrongBad, or All these mentioned in the oneshot are compliments of the companies that DO own them!

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Night fell almost a little too soon for the group and it was Aang who decided to stop and make camp. After all, he was tired, and he was pretty sure that the others were, too.

When he landed Appa, he, along with Katara, Sokka, Toph, Mai, Zuko, Haru, and Suki, landed their feet on solid ground and started to set up for the night. Aang smiled, remembering when the other four had joined them. Mai and Zuko had left their alliance with Azula, seeing that they would probably end up nowhere, anyway. They had ran into Aang, Katara, Sokka and Toph back in Omashu (which was still named New Ozai) and had been with them ever since. Then, they had ran into Haru and Suki. Suki had taken it upon herself to go back to Kyoshi Island, but when certain obstacles made it unsuccessful, she found Haru at the village where he lived. They'd pretty much been together ever since and the two had wanted to help Aang. That was how they joined in on the Gaang.

Aang remembered those days and was glad for the extra help. He didn't feel like he was carrying the load himself anymore. Everybody was helping out now and since he started offically dating Katara, well, things just had been better for him. Even if Sokka _did_ give him his looks once in a while.

Fifteen minutes later, the group was sitting around the fire that Zuko had so quickly formed. Katara was talking animatedly and Sokka was off staring into space for no reason in particular. Maybe he was just tired of hearing his sister, who knew? But who better than to catch it was Toph Bei Fong. She noticed the warrior deep in thought and decided to take the situation at hand with a smirk. She picked up a nearby pebble and flicked it at his head with a wide smirk. "Hey, Snoozles! Snap out of it! Sweetness has been talking to you for ten minutes now."

Sokka blinked. "Huh? What?"

Toph rolled her milky green eyes and Katara glared at him. "What I was _saying_, Sokka, was--"

"Hey!" Sokka interrupted suddenly and rather brightly. "You know what I was just thinking?"

"Oh no," Toph rolled her eyes again and replied with thick sarcasm, "here it comes. Do enlighten us with your wisdom, Snoozles. What were you thinking?"

After a moment's pause, Sokka grinned brightly as if his topic was the best thing in the world to talk about. "Kids."

Katara groaned beside him and dropped her head into her hands. "Oh God. Not this again, please."

Suki looked at her. "Not what again?"

Aang looked at his girlfriend and piped up next, "Yeah, what'dya mean?"

Katara pointed to her brother. "Him. He does this really stupid ramble thing about having nineteen kids. He has names and everything. It only happens when he's crushing on someone or really really really bored."

Mai smirked. "So which one is it? Crushing or bored out of your mind?"

Sokka blushed madly for only a second. "_Anyway_," he cleared his throat as if he was about to make a riveting speech. "I want nineteen kids."

Katara rolled her eyes and joined in on it. "And the first one is, boy or girl, he doesn't care..."

"Naming it 'Bllllllrrrrrrrrrr'," both siblings finished at the same time.

Toph gave the warrior a weird look. "Are you serious?" she asked through Aang's burst of laughter, to which the Airbender was on the ground.

Sokka glared at Katara, ignoring Toph's question. "I'm telling this story, thank you very much."

Katara sighed. "Whatever. I'm out."

Sokka stuck his tongue out at her. "Nyaaahhhh."

Aang grabbed Katara's hand. "Hey, wait! Come on, I wanna hear this!"

Katara looked at him. "Then hear it. I've heard it about a million times already."

"She has," Sokka nodded.

Suki looked from Sokka to Katara in humor. "So how long has he been doing this?"

Katara and Sokka both answered without even knowing that the other was going to speak up at the same time. "Seven years, one million-three thousand-five hundred and fourty times."

Toph's eyes widened. "_Seven years_? Planning marriage a little too soon, aren't ya, Snoozles?"

Sokka defended himself. "Hey, hey, hey. She was cute."

"And about five years too old for you," Katara remarked very smartly with a smirk.

Toph felt a sudden pang of jealousy that she couldn't explain. "Who was this girl?" She narrowed her eyes at Sokka and wished that her stupid jealousy feeling would disappear.

Katara smirked, enjoying the entertainment. "She was already bethrothed, there's no need to get jealous."

Toph decided to defend herself right then and there from the embarrassment she already felt coming on strong. "Who said I was jealous! I'm not jealous! Who said anything about that! I'm not jealous! On with the story already!"

Katara nodded. "Uh-huh, sure. Go on, Sokka, tell the story." She stood behind her brother, arms crossed as she waited for him to continue with his ramble.

Sokka made a face, then went on. "Anyway, that's the first name. I think it's beautiful because it's both feminine and strong. You know? And it'd just be fun to say. Be like, 'Bllllllllr, time for bed!'"

Zuko gave a slight snicker behind his hand. "Uh-huh..."

Haru shook his head. "Oh my God, this is nuts."

Sokka smiled and went on. "And then it'd be like 'No cookies'!"

Toph shook her head, hiding her smile very well and laid her head across her arms.

"Yeah, so anyway," Sokka continued, "I'm gonna name a bunch of my kids after my favorite story heros and stuff like that!"

By this time, Aang was trying to catch his breath from laughter. "Really? Like what?"

Suki grinned. "Yeah. Enlighten us."

"That's my line!" Toph's head snapped up.

Sokka thought and blanked out. "Uhmm, well, there's uhm...well...uhahh...Katara?"

Katara burst into laughter. "You _forgot_? Wow, you really are crushin'!"

"Shut up!"

Katara smirked. "He only forgets when..."

"Get outta here!" Sokka waved his hand at her.

Katara didn't budge. "Me-ow."

Sokka rolled his eyes. "So...anyway, nineteen of them. Yeah..."

Katara muttered behind his back and he turned around to look at her. "Would you stop?" He then turned back around. "So naming them would be fun."

"You established that," Toph said. "Who would be the lucky lady who'll be birthin' all these nineteen kids of yours?"

Sokka thought, then grinned. "Hmmm, you?"

Toph just blinked and Sokka nodded, soon forgetting what he said. "Yeah. So, anyway, like naming them would be a game."

"Game?" Mai cocked an eyebrow at him.

"You know what I mean. It'd be like, 'You want this name?' 'Nah, I don't like that name'."

Katara piped up next. "'And then it'd be like, 'Well, how about this one'?'"

"'Nyeah, not really'," both finished.

Sokka looked up and behind him, agitated. "You go away."

Katara just laughed, enjoying this very much.

"So, yeah, nineteen kids," Sokka said again for what seemed like the umpteenth time. "BUnch of kids."

"Anything else, Mr. Repetitive?" Toph asked sarcastically.

Sokka thought, then got all excited. "Yeah! I'd name one--"

"After his boomerang," Katara interrupted.

Aang burst into laughter again and Sokka glared at Katara again. "What?" she asked. "I'm just helping you."

"Don't help."

"Sokka..." Zuko turned the warrior's attention away from his sister. "After your boomerang?"

"Yeah! It'd be fun, because, you know, like, he'd always come back! It'd be like, 'Boomerang, commere, I wanna talk to you for a second'."

Haru shook his head and laughed. "You're insane."

Toph snorted. "Gee, thanks for clearing the air on _that _one."

Sokka looked sideways at her. "What is wrong with you? Why are you all, like, glum?" He paused and blinked, as if remembering something. Which, he did. "Oh! And then, I'd name a bunch of them after moods!"

"_Here_ we go," Katara quipped.

Sokka looked up and behind him again, balancing himself on his bottom. "Would _you_ like to tell this ramble?"

"Nope! You're doing a fascinating job!"

Sokka nodded appreciatively and went on. "So, yeah, it'd be like Happy, and Gloomy, and Hyper and...and...Sneezy!"

Aang was about this time on the ground, crying with serious laughter.

"It's not funny! This is a very serious matter!"

Katara rolled her eyes and tried not to laugh. "Tell them your other mood name."

Sokka thought. "What was it? I forgot."

With a smile, Katara said, "Euphoric."

Mai snorted. "Seriously?"

"Or was it Euphorica? I don't remember," she waved her hand as if to wave it off.

Sokka shook his head. "No, no. I was Euphoric for boy and Estatic for a girl."

Toph snorted and Sokka became enthused again. "Yeah! So it'd be..."

"Bllllllrrrrrrr, Boomeraang, Happy, Gloomy, Sneezy, Estatic, and Euphoric. You still have 12 kids to name," Zuko cut in with a slight smirk.

Toph looked in Sokka's direction. "And you're serious about all of these? You ain't high off of something, are ya?" She unconsciously put a hand to his forehead. "You been hitting on the cactus juice?"

Sokka was blushing like mad by this point and took her hand off. "No, I am perfectly sober, thank you very much."

Aang regained himself and pointed, suddenly elated for some reason unknown. "Aha!"

"Aha what?" Sokka looked at him.

"You like Toph!"

Both Toph and Sokka blushed pink and looked away from each other. Sokka decided to continue on with his drabble as if nothing happened. "So, yeah, ninteen kids, they'd be like...like...Katara, help me out here."

Aang wasn't backing down so easily. This was payback. "You were blushing," he pointed out.

"Was not," Sokka bit back.

"Was too!"

"Not!"

"Too!"

"Iceberg!"

Aang raised an eyebrow, severely confused now. "What the heck are you talking about?"

Sokka was estatic. "I remember one of my other kids' names! Iceberg!"

Zuko smacked his forehead. "You're brilliant. Your intelligence astounds me."

Sokka threw his hands up. "No no! It's logical, I swear!"

Mai snorted. "Logical my butt."

Haru piped up next. "Face it, Dude. You and Logical just don't mix well."

Sokka was determined to make his point. "Listen, listen! Iceberg because where I was born and raised there are icebergs and he'll be born in the South Pole!"

"I am not going to the South Pole. I can't see there," Toph said unknowingly.

"What?" Sokka blinked at her.

"What what?"

"What? What'd you say?"

"Say?" Toph pretended to concern. "I didn't say anything."

"No, you just said--"

"The story?" She interrupted.

Sokka shook his head. "Don't change the subject!"

"I'm not! Just tell the story! What's the next name?"

With enthusiasm and a wide grin, Sokka said, "TROGDOR THE BURNINATOR!"

Suki rolled her head. "Oh, God."

Aang decided to be smart. "And what's the logic behind _that_ name?"

Sokka shrugged. "It sounds cool?"

Toph snorted and Sokka defended. "What? It does! You can't honestly tell me that 'Back off, or I'll sic the Trogdor the Burninator on you' doesn't sound menacing?"

"I don't want any of my kids to be menacing."

Sokka pointed at her. "See! You did it again!"

"Huh?"

"That! You like..."

"No."

Sokka threw his hands up. "Nuuugh! You're infuriating!"

Toph snorted. "_Me_! You're the infurtiating one! God, you're so oblivious!"

Sokka blinked. "Oblivious! Thanks!"

"Well, you are!" Toph shot.

"No, no, no!" Sokka shook his head and Toph sat down.

"Oh, let me guess. Another name?"

Sokka nodded. "One of the kids will be dumb like me, so I'm gonna name him or _her_," he glanced at Katara, "Oblivious!"

Zuko rolled his eyes and Suki was almost incredulous. "Ob--livious?"

Sokka nodded. "Yup!"

"And he's darn near proud of it, too!" Toph said with fake enthusiasm.

"Yes," Sokka pointed out, "because that means they'd be a little me!"

Katara poked fun with a baby voice. "Aww, wittwe Sokka..."

"And that will be the next name! Lil' Sokka!" Sokka threw his arms out with excitement.

"_That_, I can live with," Toph said.

Sokka looked at her, surprised. "Huh?"

"Wha?"

Sokka groaned. "Would you cut that out!"

"What?" Toph shrugged. "M'not doing anything."

"Yes you do! You! You reject all my names and--and all that!"

Toph muttered and Sokka cocked an eyebrow at her. "You confound me, Toph."

"OOOOOh, big word. Don't break your brain, you still have eight kids to name," she replied mockingly.

Katara got excited. "Oh! Oh! You're going to _love_ this next name."

"If I can remember it," Sokka made a thinking face.

"I know," Katara said matter-of-factly as she sat down in between Aang and her brother.

Sokka looked at her. "Then tell me."

Katara looked at the others. "Meat." She smirked. _"Just_ Meat."

Sokka slapped his forehead. "Oh yeah! Name one of them after my favorite food! Duh! How could I have forgotten that one?"

Katara sighed. "And then he gets tired of naming them and just forgets all the names and numbers them."

Sokka shook his head. "No! You do!"

"No, I started numbering them when you hit seven names left, like you did, and then you went back and changed them all."

Toph yawned. "Well, that was _riveting_. I'm going to bed."

Sokka grabbed her wrist. "No! It's not done! I didn't number them, I _lettered_ them!"

Toph rolled her eyes and sat back down after pulling her hand back. " Speed it up. I'm tired."

"Right, so I lettered them and then got sober again and gave them real names the end," he grinned, then remembered something. "Bunch of kids. And wouldn't it be fun to have just a bunch of kids and just dump them somewhere? Be like, 'I'm out!' Whooossssssh!" He paused. "What do you think they talk about?"

The group just blinked at him and Sokka leaned back casually with a smile. "And _that_ is how I'm gonna name my nineteen kids."

Suki spoke up, "And _who's _the lucky girl again?" She smirked at Mai, who in turn, smirked at Toph, who suddenly got agitated and got up.

"Good night!" She said before storming off.

"No, no, hey, wait!" Sokka tried to grab her ankle, but missed, falling on his stomach, then wormed his way over to her on the ground.

Toph rolled her eyes and kept on walking.

"They were just kidding!" Sokka said, following her.

"Yeah, whatever, look, I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Good night Sokka."

Sokka stood there and pouted, which Toph caught. "And don't you _dare_ sulk, you brought this on yourself," she retorted, slamming her rock tent door shut.

Sokka stood there with his arms crossed like a five-year-old and pouted still. "I thought you'd take a hint," he muttered.

Inside her tent, Toph leaned against the door and mumbled, "Oblivious. So oblivious."

The Watertribe warrior started to walk away before pausing and turning back around. "Toph?"

"Hmm?"

"Just thought you'd like to know I was gonna name _one_ of them after you, but whatever," he shrugged.

Toph was surprised. "R-really?"

"Nyuh-huh."

Toph smiled genuinely this time. "That's nice. Night, Sokka."

"I didn't mean to embarrass you!" He blurted.

Toph sighed. "Just--just go to bed, okay?"

"Please? Just one chance? Pleeeeeeease?" Sokka begged with a slight whine.

Toph put her hands on her hips, even though she knew he couldn't see her. "Once chance for what, Snoozles?"

Sokka stuttered. "One..to--to go out with me? Just one?"

Toph bit her lip. "But you--"

"Yeah, I know. I'm noooooooooot your type. And I'm stupid. Yeah, I know. Never mind I asked."

Toph took the initiative. "Sokka, you're not stupid."

"You're the only one who seems to think so," Sokka remarked back.

"Sorry."

Sokka sighed. "Please? Just one chance? I mean, I really like you, and well, that's all I'm asking."

Toph took down her rock tent door and cocked her head to the side. "Maybe."

Sokka just stood there. "Can I take that for a yes?"

"Are you serious about your ramble?"

Sokka bit his lip. "Do you want me to be serious about my ramble?"

Toph bit her lip in turn and stood in front of him. The closest she really had ever gotten to him since the day she'd hung onto his arm for dear life about two weeks ago. "Maybe."

"What's with all the maybes?"

Toph smiled and put her arms around his neck, this time doing so consciously. "I dunno."

From behind them, the other three couples were watching and upon seeing the scene before them shouted, "Oh just kiss her already!"

Sokka jumped and looked behind him, but already the others had scrambled off. He shook his head and Toph deferred his attention back to her.

"Sokka?"

"Y--yeah, Toph?"

Toph grabbed his collar and pulled him down to her level. "I want you to listen _very_ closely to me, capische?"

"Kay."

Toph grinned and whispered in his ear, " I _really_ wouldn't mind having nineteen kids."

Sokka thought, then absorbed this information before laughing and pulling her into a sweet, savory kiss that she made deeper and the others caught.

"Yes!"

Toph broke away with a glare towards the others. "Do you mind?"

The others looked at each other and laughed before scrambling away again. Toph yelled after them, "Thank you!" and grabbed Sokka's shirt collar again for another kiss.

Sokka pulled away and smiled at her. "So, question for you, Miss Toph."

"Yes?"

"You _really _wouldn't mind having nineteen kids?"

Toph thought. "Mmmm, how about we talk about it later, huh?" She grinned and kissed him again.

* * *

Back at the camp, Katara grinned. "it's about time those two got together."

Aang nodded in agreement. "I know. God, the sexual tension between them was so thick!"

Katara shot him a look and he shrugged. "You know it's true."

Suki laughed. "Yeah, next thing you'll be saying is that they're going to sleep together tonight."

Aang shrugged. "Could happen."

"It was bad enough when they _weren't_ together. I'm scared of what's gonna happen now," Katara interjected.

Suki shook her head. "I feel sorry for you two."

"What do you mean?" Aang eyed her.

"Them," Suki pointed. "Think about it. If it was horrible when they weren't together, just think what it'll be like if they _are_."

Aang dropped his head in his hands. "Oh, God, Katara, we're doomed."

Zuko snorted and Aang shot him a look. "Yeah, you don't gotta put up with it," he said smartly.

Turning his attention away from Aang and the conversation at hand, Zuko looked at Mai. "So, Maiya..."

Mai looked up. "Huh?"

"I have a question."

"Shoot," Mai said, not thinking anything of it at all.

Zuko grinned. "How many kids do you want?"

Mai rolled her eyes. "Don't even think about it, Pretty Boy. Don't even think about it."

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**Wow, that was a lot to type. I hope it was pleasing. I warned you that it was silly and fun. If you don't like silly and fun then don't review!**

**Jay and Mandi!**


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